Strong tie connections are unlikely to help you get on a board

Who comes to mind when you consider the personal connections that will help you get appointed? For most, their mind goes straight to the people they know well and trust, who already have board appointments or are well-connected in the business community. They consider which of their old-school ties may have status or influence in the right circles. I am here to tell you that these personal connections or strong ties are unlikely to help you secure a board position.

Personal connections are valuable when gaining a board appointment

Most of us, rightly or wrongly, believe that personal connections and networks are extremely valuable when pursuing a board appointment. I regularly ask current UK Non-Executive Directors (NEDs) informally, “How were they appointed to their most recent board?” I found that board appointments in the UK occur via 1 of 4 pathways:

1. Through a personal connection
2. Via a direct approach to the board or organisation
3. By responding to a formal board vacancy advertisement
4. Through an executive search firm or recruiter

Although my statistics are not the result of formal studies, I have been conducting this informal research for many years with similar results: 65% of people report that they were appointed to the board through a personal connection.

Who are your strong ties?

A connection of any kind, including one of this form, is a tie. Whilst a strong tie can be an acquaintance, a close friend, a family member, a teammate, or a work colleague, it is the nature or strength of the relationship that deems it to be a strong tie.

Traditionally, a strong tie is defined as a connection between close-knit individuals. We engage with our strong ties genuinely and thoughtfully, ensuring that we uphold the longevity and strength of the connection. Strong ties typically involve: an emotional connection, familiarity and mutual respect. These strong tie connections can be broken down into two main groups: Friendships and Relationships.

Friendships are people that you likely connected with from and within a social setting. Some may also have originated from a work environment, but they have now evolved into long-term friendships as they transition into a social setting. These friendships become strong ties as they build a deeper personal relationship.

Relationships are similar, but are more than friendships. They are often based on mutual respect. Family, family ties and old-school ties also fall into this category. Some relationships may still be professionally driven or have begun in a professional setting, such as with a colleague or a professional stakeholder with whom you work or have worked closely. Regardless of the status of the relationship or how it originated, both parties have an intimate understanding of each other.

Why are strong ties unlikely to help you get on a board?

You are not alone in thinking that your strong ties should be one of your most valuable assets when developing a NED career, so much so that they are the very people that you reach out to first. After all, they know you well, they have faith in you, and they trust you; so of course, they should open doors or vouch for you.

But in the vast majority of scenarios, your strong ties are not nearly as valuable as you think. And by investing your time and effort in seeking out their assistance, you will only delay your efforts in building and nurturing connections with those who can and are more willing to help you get appointed.

I firmly believe and have witnessed several reasons why strong ties are unlikely to lead to a board appointment. Here are a few for you to consider when deciding whether to pursue any of your strong ties.

• • If your strong tie is a friendship, they see you as untested for a board director position. This is because they have never witnessed you perform in such a role first-hand or in any leadership capacity. They are concerned that recommending you for a board role or introducing you to their connections may pose a reputational risk.
  • Your strong ties know and think of you in various roles – as a lawyer, accountant, friend, busy CEO, retiree, entrepreneur, etc. – and not just as a non-executive director. You don’t even come to mind when they hear of appointment opportunities.
  • They often know you too well, including flaws and failings. They remember when your product launch failed years ago or what you were like after that 2nd drink. They know that recommending you could risk either of your reputations.
  • They like you but might not rate you. They enjoy spending time with and admire you personally, but don’t think you are that good at what you do professionally or that you are ready to take on a board position. So, recommendations will not be forthcoming.
  • Finally, they want to avoid damaging the friendship or relationship that both parties have taken so many years to build. You may risk straining the relationship by simply asking them to help, or you may ruin the relationship because you are unhappy with their unwillingness to help.

These reasons may sound cruel or impersonal coming from someone that you have a close connection with, but pause for a minute and put yourself in their shoes. We all have close friends or family members that, even though you love dearly, you would never recommend for a job, let alone for a board appointment. Nor would you introduce them to others who you know could help them. Therefore, for these reasons, and likely many more, your close friends, colleagues, and loved ones, while wanting to help, will often be hesitant to take the risk.

Strong ties do have a role in helping you get on a Board

Strong ties can indeed be advantageous, but it’s essential to evaluate whether they are the best avenue for your efforts, consider the potential impact on the relationship, and find strategic ways to utilise them effectively. You must accept that strong ties do not guarantee easy or automatic access to a board appointment.

Friendships should be considered as informal access to other connections, rather than recommendations or favour requests. This informal access occurs spontaneously. At the same time, strong ties based on professional relationships may be considered, but tread carefully. You need to determine if your strong tie is willing and able to assist you in securing a board appointment. At the same time, you need to consider if doing so will jeopardise the relationship you have with them, whether it’s a business or personal relationship.

The key here is never to risk damaging your strong ties by asking for assistance, support, or favours upfront. If unsure, ask yourself, “Would a refusal to help offend you?”. If the answer is yes, then you know the relationship is not worth risking.

If you’re willing to take the potential risk and decide to move forward, consider using a more subtle approach by casually seeking their advice on securing a board position or requesting their professional opinion on how well you might fit such a role. You could even engage them as a sounding board when determining what skills and experience you have to offer a board. They may then surprise you with an offer to help, make recommendations, or introduce you to other helpful people. Remember that, for all the reasons above, they may still be unlikely to put you in direct contact with people who have opportunities. An introduction is still valuable, as it allows you to connect with people outside your existing network.

In Summary

Personal connections are extremely valuable in the board appointment process. Some connections are more valuable, and strong ties are unlikely to help you on a board. Strong ties do still count. But you need to leverage them differently and avoid risking the strong relationship you have built. Time may be best spent developing the other connections that are more likely to lead to a board appointment. You will learn how to do this during my Board Appointment Training series, which is included in our Executive Membership Package.

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